You Were Never Mine
by Ahja Reyn
Summary: Pride can be a hard thing to overcome when you lose the one you love. NaruSasu
1. Part the First

**Title:** You Never Were Mine  
**Author:** Reyn  
**Rating:** M for mendokuse  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto & Co.  
**Warnings:** shonen-ai now, yaoi later (if I can work it in right), a lot of angst…  
**Author's Note:** I'm adding this warning due to the amount of complaints people have deemed worthy of showering me with. The chapters are going to be this short; each and every one of them. Also, this story is meant to focus on the most depressing points of the time it covers. This means you will be seeing Naruto at his lowest; with his deepest, most insecure thoughts being revealed. Everyone has them. My goal here is to highlight them. If that bugs you, I'm normally a happy-go-lucky author and you can find a flood of lighthearted fics on my profile.

* * *

**Part the First**

"I don't love her," you say, as if that explains everything away.

I scoff. "You and I both know it doesn't take love to make a baby. It takes sex."

"Naruto…"

"God, I'm such an idiot. This entire time you wouldn't touch me, I thought you were trying to be a gentleman and simply wait for the perfect moment. And now I see it's because you were going off to _her_."

"I wasn't-"

"Is there something wrong with me?" I cut you off. I'm in hysterics now, and no longer wish to hear the smooth baritone of your voice that I was once foolish enough to swoon over. "Is the thought of being with me really that repulsive? Why? Why would you do this to me? Why would you keep stringing me along in this relationship when you have no interest in me? Is it really that fun to toy with my emotions? Is that why everyone keeps doing it?"

I make the mistake of looking into your eyes and nearly break at what I see there. Pity. Oh God, I really am a fool. The room is suddenly suffocating and I can no longer breathe properly as the world around me goes out of focus. I notice you approaching me and reel back from your outstretched hand.

"Don't touch me! You didn't want to touch me before, so don't you ever try to touch me now!" Hot tears are streaming down my cheeks and I can't get the damn place to stop blurring as I try to glare at you. "I disgust you, right? So now that your secret's out, you don't have to keep pretending you care."

The wind rustles the trees outside as silence echoes loudly between us. I remind myself that I no longer care for your opinion and move to leave through the open window.

"If that's what you really think, then you truly are an idiot."

Your words cause me to pause for no more than a second.

"As if that's a change from what you've always thought of me," I retort, before disappearing into the crowded town.

* * *

_To be continued..._


	2. Part the Second

**Part the Second**

Those last words you said to me had planted a seed of doubt in my initial reaction. A small ray of hope shone; maybe I was wrong in my heated assumptions. Maybe you would come and find me and force me to understand the truth, whatever it may be.

It's been a month and I no longer find myself disillusioned by what you said. Congratulations, Sasuke, you've finally put me in my place. I'm lower than the slime in the gutters and I'm willing to admit it. Aren't you proud?

It takes another two months for you to finally come and seek me out. Far too late for an abortion, a thought that makes me giggle at the insanity of such a hope. I amaze myself at how quick I am to spot that dying wish. I then immediately chastise myself; why would you even try to convince her to get rid of it? One of your goals is to resurrect your clan.

Wordlessly, I stand aside to allow you in my humble little abode. That in itself should be a sign to you that I still trust you. That I still respect you. That I still love you.

Since the day I was born, this has been the only place to shelter me from the constant cruelty I've endured from the villagers for reasons previously unknown to me. This is my shelter, my safe haven, please let it continue to be so, if only for a little while longer.

For a long time, you remain standing there, leaning against the wall in silence. I don't offer you tea. You don't deserve it. I refuse to be the first to talk as well. Because you don't deserve the luxury of me making it easier for you to find some reason to get mad and skirt around whatever issue you came here for.

Eventually, I start to nod off and go to bed. You remain where you are, your eyes following me as I climb under my sheets and in the morning, you're gone.

* * *

_To Be Continued..._


	3. Part the Third

**Part the Third**

It has now been nearly six months since you shattered my happiness into irreparable pieces. I have asked to be given more missions as of late. The entire village is happily gossiping about your unborn child; about how good it will be to see the Uchiha clan grow, and I can't take it.

I will never leave Konoha, because it is the place I have sworn to protect. But that doesn't mean I have to sit around and bump into the mother of your child once a week and overhear her happily gush about the baby clothes she just bought to a secretly jealous Sakura who has resolved to be proud of your soon-to-be family. With the way she always goes on, I realize you never told her about us.

Something tells me you never told anyone.

The problem with taking on more missions is that I now have a higher chance of bumping into you instead. A chance that Fate decided to call upon, seeing as how I am now staked out in the forest canopy with you, waiting for our target to stroll by beneath us.

For some reason, whenever I'm with you, I feel the need to prove myself. To show that I'm worthy. To let you know that I'm over you and your betrayal, even if it's a lie.

"So when are you planning on getting married?" I ask as casually as I can, my eyes remaining focused on the ground far below. "After the baby? She's too fat now to look good in any wedding pictures…"

I can tell you're astounded by the fact that I'm talking to you, even if you don't show it.

"The only thing I plan on doing is paying for child support," you answer, eyes remaining down as well.

I snort. "You'll make a horrible father."

"I never asked to be a father."

You're looking right at me now, but I refuse to return the gaze. Instead, my eyes narrow as our prey enters the area and I allow myself to drop to the ground below.

Despite the simplicity of the task, never before have I endured a more tolling mission.

* * *

_To be continued..._


	4. Part the Fourth

**Part the Fourth**

You lied to me. I don't know why I'm surprised. The entire town is talking about your engagement. Most are wondering why you waited so long – the baby's due in less than a month. You probably got peeved at my accusation of you being a bad father.

It pisses me off that you can still toy with me even after all I've done to pull away from you. Is this your way of getting back at me for bringing you back to Konoha? Is this your punishment for me for storming out on you in the first place? You've got a sick sense of justice if that's the case.

The night the baby arrives, I'm sitting on top of the Fourth Hokage's head, feeling warm from sake and wondering what I had done wrong to chase you away so long ago. It had to have been my fault, because I'm the one who's flawed. I'm clumsy, stupid, loud, easily manipulated, but you knew of all my faults before the relationship, so what could it have possibly been?

The only answer I can come up with is that you learned of the demon I have sealed inside me. It makes sense. All of the older villagers who knew of the fox looked down on me in disgust, so why wouldn't you join them?

Did the knowledge make you angry? The fact that my power comes from an alternate source that won't destroy me, does that fill you with the same burning rage as when you first thought I was stronger than you? Is that why you strayed? Because you were jealous? Is that why you won't come to me now? Because I'm not the pure little dobe you always thought me to be?

In all the years of knowing of the nine tailed fox demon sealed within me, I have never wished him gone. But tonight, as the echo of a baby's cries resound against the cliff below me, I damn its existence within me with all my heart.

* * *

_To be continued..._


	5. Part the Fifth

**Part the Fifth**

Neji approached me today. Apparently, he's noticed the change in me this past year. He doesn't know what caused it, but he doesn't like it. We had a long talk, but I didn't tell him anything. I figure since you never told anyone, you would rather keep it a long forgotten secret.

But something tells me Neji knew, regardless. He's offered himself to be a crutch for me, to help me get back to where I once was.

"What if I never get back to where I once was?"

"Then I'll simply stay with you forever."

The offer was tempting. Out of all the people I have ever come across, Neji is the only one who has always been patient with me. Not even Iruka-sensei can lay claim to that.

But in the end, the respect I have for him is too great, and I cannot allow myself to put the rest of his life on hold, when I know he has feelings for another. I nearly cried knowing I have such a great friend.

His offer did plant an idea in my head, however. How would you react if you were to see me with another? Would you even notice? Would any level of emotion play across your face? Would you come back to me and steal me away?

Once again, you were two steps ahead of me. I was out walking and saw you sitting against a tree, your son in your arms, as you explained to him things that would remain beyond his grasp for years to come.

It was then that I realized I couldn't do it. I couldn't try to tempt you away from such an innocent life. I know better than anyone what it's like to grow up without a father. To be the source of whispers and gossip that extend beyond the understanding of a child.

It pains me to admit it, but perhaps you straying from me was for the best. After all, a new life came out of it.

Maybe one day I'll gather up the courage to congratulate you.

* * *

_To be continued..._


	6. Part the Sixth

**Part the Sixth**

I've finally achieved ANBU status a mere nine days before your wedding. Are you proud of me? Do you even care? Of course, this means I will be out on a mission during your ceremony.

Not that it matters, since I didn't get an invitation.

Tsunade baa-chan looked nervous during the meeting. To be honest, someone from ANBU Black-Ops should probably be doing this, but times aren't all that peaceful and there are none to spare.

This mission came with terms. Terms like I've never seen before.

Terms that I would never like to see again.

But here I am, near the border of Fire Country, facing an opponent whose identity is also hidden behind a mask. We've been fighting for three days straight and the forest around us has been leveled out. We're both exhausted and running low on chakra.

My opponent is skilled and meets all of my uncouth methods with determination rather than bewilderment. It makes me wonder if we've met one another without our masks before.

A large part of me strives to win this fight. Konoha is counting on me. Plus this person just plain pisses me off. But then there's that smaller voice. The one that's wondering if dying here is really such a bad idea.

I'm sure you're familiar with this part of me. You've seen it in the past, during the several times you were truly out to kill me. The part that accepts death, as long as it's by your hands…and your hands only.

With that thought in mind, I deflect what could be a killing blow. The injury may still prove lethal soon, but all I need is a little more time.

Gathering up whatever remaining chakra I have, I turn to face my opponent to make my last stand, only to find they're not there. Looking around in confusion, I spot them above me, falling rapidly, katana in hand - glowing with what must be whatever's left of their own chakra. Heh, sly little bastard.

Unfortunately, the world's gone a little fuzzy. From the way my opponent is coming at me, I can tell they're in the same state.

The problem? They're in a better position than I am to win this.

That tiny voice overwhelms me, drowning out any unspoken promise I may have had to you. I am prepared to die. I'm just sorry it won't be by your hands.

I launch my Rasengan just as I feel the tip of the katana pierce my flesh, only to watch my opponent fly to the side, hit by a brunt force that sends them crashing sickeningly into a tree.

My eyes squint, and from what I can make out, the other ANBU has been skewered on a broken branch. Dead.

I should probably be wondering how they got all the way over there when my attack should not have been at full strength, but right now, as my conscious is slipping away, I can only focus on the face filling my fading vision.

Is it normal to envision the one you love when you're dying?

_Sasuke…_

_

* * *

To be continued..._


	7. Part the Seventh

**Part the Seventh**

I'm supposed to be getting married today.

I'm not at all comfortable in such traditional clothing and have chosen to wear my issued jounin outfit underneath, something I'm sure Kakashi finds amusing as he enters my room without knocking while I'm in the middle of dressing.

I ignore him at first, and continue to do so a little longer after he utters the most obvious phrase in the world.

"Naruto's not here."

"Of course he isn't. I didn't invite him."

Kakashi has long since been aware of the rift between Naruto and I, so I'm a little surprised when I look up and see the expression of sadness and anger etched in his face. As he begins to talk, I know it's of words I don't want to hear, so I turn around to finish getting dressed. However, as his voice continues to wash over me, my hands slowly still and an unfamiliar emotion begins to stir within me.

He speaks of new styles of war, where countries will only send out a single man; their strongest fighter upon which the outcome will lie solely on his shoulders. Of how corrupt country leaders merely see this as a game for power and enter their playing pieces if only to show their might in a world of shaky trust. He tells of how entire lands are scarred in these battles between two men and how more often than not the victor dies shortly after sending out news of the outcome, leaving this to be a fight for no survivors.

Kakashi then goes on to describe what he knows of the mission Naruto was sent on and suddenly I am able to identify these heavy emotions.

Dread. Panic. Fear.

I probably confused a lot of people as I raced out of Konoha to the coordinates Kakashi had supplied me with. But I don't give a damn about them.

My thoughts are only focused on getting to you before it's too late.

* * *

_To be continued..._


	8. Part the Eighth

**Part the Eighth**

I hear the soft twittering of birds as I slowly wake. It takes several tries for my eyes to work and when they blink open, I see sunlight filtering through young tree branches through large gaps of what looks like the walls of an old hut. The air holds the sweet smell of the forest and I find myself at peace.

I must be in Heaven.

I hear footsteps just beyond my field of vision and try to turn my head to see who it is, only to have all my senses blinded by pain.

"You shouldn't move. Your body isn't healed enough for you to even be conscious yet."

My eyes widen at the familiar voice and I struggle to sit up, only to gasp as my body screams in protest.

You come to stand over me, dropping a washcloth over my eyes and holding me down by my forehead.

"Dobe!" you chastise. "I said don't move!"

I freeze and dread slowly seeps in. "I'm in Hell…"

You snort and push the washcloth up so that I can see your scowling face. "You're not dead."

I exhale disbelievingly as you sit next to me, close enough so that I can keep you in sight.

"How would you know?" I ask. "You're at a wedding."

You're silent for a moment, staring straight ahead into nothing.

"Because if this was your hell…it would be my heaven." Your head turns to look at me. "I think it's time we stop being idiots."

I try to frown, but it hurts. I settle on asking a question that will cover both statements. "What?"

My heart stops at your next words.

"I'm going to tell you the truth, and you're going to listen. It's about the child that I call my son."


End file.
